keep on keepin on | happybot's Blog

Some time has passed, a week or so. We talk. Keep it brief. She is unsure , perhaps on the fence in our relationship. She feels guilty ( dam right!) feels she has damaged our relationship, her relationship with God.  She doesnt know or is not dealing with her feelings right now. Im interested in repairing our marriage. I keep emailing her. Talking to her on the phone. I try to be encouraging. Myself I am exercising now, losing some weight. Eating healthier. Keeping myself busy, and planning on going to a massage school. I am working on myself now. For years I had just existed. Work, eat, sleep. Day in and day out. What fun was I? I admit, not much. So I am working on getting that inspiration back. Rebuilding my spirit. Learning to laugh again. I share all my activities with my wife.  I don't sense the same from her. She is encouraging. Is happy with all the things happening in my life. Its more like she is a friend happy for me rather than a wife. Perhaps I am reading too much into it. I think she requires 'together time' to express herself, I tend to do better with emails.  The only problem is that I may be impossible for me to visit her. Bah, I could, it would just set me back on some late bills. Then again, I cannot afford to miss this oppurtunity to save our marriage, if its possible. Thats where I am now. Crossroads. Wheeee! I know the direction I should take, but perhaps thats the problem. Ive taken that route before and it leads nowhere. I should take the road less traveled. ( i like the poem too! )