Ima dumbass doh | happybot's Blog

well i didnt have to go to work today it was friday, not saturday when I work. Somehow I lost a day or gained one  . i dont know.. ha ha  i felt a little foolish. in a good way.



left 2 messages on her phone. 2 or 3 long emails pouring out my heart, my feelings, my fears, ... telling her how wonderful I thought she was and how she hadnt ruined my life as I choose to be bitter and angry. I chose to be apathetic...



I want to be ok, i wonder why I am apologising and being forgiving and she cannot even speak to me.



Im angry. I have a right to be. I hate anger. Ive hated being angry since I was little. I saw what happened when people are angry at each other. It tears them up inside. Well all these years of suppressing my anger has eaten me up. Now I lash out yelling at the kids.... the very thing I swore not to become.. I have. How ironic.



Lesson for today kids~ Conquer your fears or they will conquer you.

Mine have, and I thought I had beaten them. Learn about what you fear, that will help greatly, I learned too late.